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I feel the way grave stones work could stand to change for the following reasons:
1) Death has lost a lot of the weight it once carried as a consequence. Gravestones are not solely responsible. However, they are core to the issue. Because, successive updates surrounding this content (like the lodestone network and increased amount of items not lost on death, through various means) have mitigated the value of the original purpose (Anti-RWT Measure), and extended purpose of gravestones (Preventing Unfair Death from Lag).
2) Gravestones can be an inconvenience. They preserve some if not most rs items that might otherwise be lost on death. But, they do it by terms that can lead a player to wonder why these things are not just sent to Diango (or why they are the way they are at all).
In most circumstances one can easily reach their Gravestone. But, there is such a thing as ‘too fair’. Between items that are kept on death and the ability to get back to Gravestone (most of the time) with plenty of time left to spare. It makes them an unnecessary time sink for a lot of the game play.
3) They have consistently presented thematic issues. Who erects a Gravestone? Why do we even go to deaths office as an odd sort of post death lobby? Why don’t NPC’s have grave stones? How are you living after dying and also digging through your own remains?
That said Gravestones still hold some strong ground for remaining in the game unchanged (or only mildly tweaked). Major points that support Gravestones are (that are hard to argue against or make repair to):
1) They make bossing feasible. Where big fights have become more difficult in comparison to how it was preceding Gravestones addition to the game. Removing or changing them would either hurt bossing or be too unpredictable as to the effect it has on bossing.
2) Players are invested in their Gravestones financially, skilling, and otherwise. There isn't adequate compensation for removing them from the game or changing how they work too much.
3) They are now too long standing in the game, in general. Removing them or changing them too much is like ripping out a core mechanic at this point. We can't predict how it would turn out. But it's likely not to be good.
4) They prevent unfair loss from disconnects.
This (months looking into and rewriting this completely several times) has all served to make two things clear to me. There is something wrong with Gravestones. But, it can't be addressed by changing how they work too much or removing them from the game all together.
In my opinion what seems to be wrong with them, is simply that in some parts of the game they are needless or over-empowering. And, in other parts of the game they are indispensable. The degree of their usefulness is inconsistent.